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Dear Auntie Jean/Granny/Weird Uncle,

Thank you very much for my [usually money]. I have already hit the sales [because I had to escape the crushing weight of all the food and old people in the house] and have treated myself to a new sweater [actually from the Maternity section of Topshop, which caused slight consternation at home]. I will have to visit the shops again when the crowds have disappeared to see what else I can find! [as I am actually going to blow all the cash on a corset].

We had a quiet Christmas with family [if "quiet" entails Boxing Day Massacre of squirrels by Grandad, with shotgun] and I spent New Year at home with friends from University, which was great fun. [And it was so]. Mum and Dad were a big help on the night with all the food and preparation, and we were all pretty tired the next day! [For me, principally because I was up until the sun rose fucking my boyfriend].

I am looking forward to getting back to London now [LIES] though not so much to my exams. [couldn't give a fuck. I mean, I'm blogging about thank you letters instead of revising]. Hopefully they will be better than I expect! [they won't be].

Thank you again [for your contribution to my journey through the shops of Soho].

With love [especially from my boyfriend, who is delighted I'm spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that is essentially for his enjoyment],

xx