Sunday, 24 April 2011


My exams are in less than two weeks. In two and a half, I will be back at work. I can't wait; for the challenge, for the elated exhaustion of doing a job really well.

I also can't wait for the inevitable weight loss. I'm a bit disgusted at myself, which upsets me more than the extra pounds really. I'm by no means huge, I'm just a little heavier than I like to be. I don't like this mindset, where I avoid mirrors and obsess over my waist measurement.

I accepted that I'd always struggle with my weight several years ago, now. I've been 81 kilos; I've been 59. I'm probably about 62 at the moment (I don't want to get on the scale).

At just 5'3", three kilos make a lot of difference. At 59 I am pretty much a size eight (not in jeans), waist measurement of about 27 inches. At 62 I am a solid size ten, waist measurement of about 29 inches. I am quite a muscular girl; I build it quickly, and my legs are as solid as they were a year ago, when I did strength work regularly. My core strength has gone to shit, though; an hour's yoga leaves me shaking where six months ago, even, I'd have done an hour and a half and felt invigorated.

Ugh, even the fat rant makes me feel angry with myself. Why am I whinging about half a stone when I was once twelve and a half? I know how hard it is to lose weight, and to keep it off.

And, it's Easter Sunday. Christos anesti; alithos anesti. I hope you are celebrating with friends, family or chocolate, or in any way that makes you happy.

Monday, 18 April 2011

and finally

Some good news.

My boy is moving to London, in August. We house hunt lazily, drifting past windows and fantasising about what we'd have, if we could afford it.

I can't wait.