weekend

Friday is always just a little bit magical, don't you think? Waking up in the knowledge that tomorrow is a lie in, that work today will be paper shifting and gossip.

Still, Saturday lunchtime is the perfect moment for me; the time when school achingly drew to a close, now the time when I sit with the newspapers and a glass of wine, lazily sketching in half known answers in the general knowledge crossword.

things acquired free in the last two weeks

A bag of soya products (revolting).
A man's razor (new).
Blackberry Torch (!)
Rescue Remedy chewing gum (as weird as it sounds).
Knowledge that I will barely scrape through the accountancy exam I am taking in May.

Ooh! There's a new Kitsune album out. Excuse me.

here we go

The first two days of work have been full of new faces and new rules to learn. It's Big School all over again.

I haven't been very well.

grey

I am tired. I slept in the afternoon yesterday even though daytime napping is something I'm really not fond of.

Bit low. There are reasons I guess.

I'm in Spain

"I brought you a present."
Dad proffers a pizza cutter. It has come free with wine. We already own three.
"No, thank you."
"Also there are some of these." Two wine coolers. Also free with alcohol.
"Er. You can buy those at home."
...
Later; I'm packing. He brings in eight steak knives. I put them in my bag, resigned.
(They did not come free with the wine).

yeah

Sorry about the absence. etc. I had a week off last week and spent most of it in the country, where the internet connection is erratic at best.

I'm not feeling quite with it at the moment though typically I cannot work out why.

Saw Avatar last night, which was a waste of three hours. EQ and I started sniggering uncontrollably in the last third. Terrible story, terrible script. Pretty multicoloured things, though; just had a text from AM I dreamt I was in a world of glowsticks last night.

so

I was going to write when I got in last night, but that wasn't til quite late and I'd had three glasses of wine and then my phone rang... etc.

Excuses. I also had an exam yesterday, which wasn't the best. I'm hard on myself.

I know I'm hard on others, too. I inherit this from my Dad, an expectation of sacrifice to get where you say you want to go. If you aren't willing to make the sacrifice, you don't want it enough.

To the gym! To snap out of it.

arrest

One abortive attempt (he forgot something) and a successful walk to the tube stop later, I wander home alone to read through my notes for tomorrow's exam.

The men who had crowded the path at the traffic lights, drinking beer, are now being arrested. One of the police cars involved is missing a side mirror; an officer holds it and watches the men in handcuffs, heads ducked into the car.

Sure there's a good short story in there somewhere.

PS: forgot to post Friday and Saturday. Sorry.

further stupidity

Only realised last weekend that what I'd always thought was just a weird potted plant on a pound coin is, in fact, a leek.

burn

Rescuing a roasting chicken from the oven today I burned my arm on the wire shelf. Annoyingly its the slender part of my wrist, the natural resting place of my watch. Perhaps it will train my to wear it on the correct side (its always on the right).

Want to sleep but not sure I'll find it so easy, tonight. Overactive imagination (burned in more ways than this).

move

We're moving house tomorrow. My room is nearly empty and you can see the patches of mould near the windows. Lucky buyer.

We're not going far. The new house is a good deal and has a back garden; luxury, in London.

The only thing I'm really sad to abandon is my oversized bed. My boyfriend is much taller than me and sleeps in a star shape, limbs seeming to multiply in the night.

No internet from tomorrow until Tuesday at least. Not that I was likely to post anyway, as you well know.

tired

I've not been to bed before 1am for the past week. Not sure why, really.

Woke up this morning to some news that tweaked that horrible emotional pulley that develops in your throat when you haven't slept enough. Attach any weight and the tears flood out.

Nothing more to say. Just tired and missing certain people so very much.

it's definitely nearly the end of term

Exchange between two of my favourite lawyer friends on facebook:

Italian Friend: better than fucking allotment and transfer of fucking shares! the whole class was hangovered from a late night at [name of nasty student club] and we got told off by head of department...yes!
...
excuse my French.
CW: excuse your English. Hangovered?!?
IF: sorry mate. It's street English, yo!
...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hangovered
CW: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bollocks
Me: :D

procrastinating

All that preening about exercising and eating right and I've just scoffed half a big bag of Malteasers.

Oh my God I don't want to do my coursework.

nobody at the gym is cool

Oh my God, man on the cross trainer flapping his arms. Are you trying to fly? It can't be that awful.

Irrational creeping hatred for Paolo from yoga class as he gets on the treadmill in his stupid too-short tracksuit bottoms.

I look like a total dick when I run.

Thankfully, so does everybody else

possibly submitted it in a drunken stupor

Just got an e-mail from a law firm thanking me for my application, and letting me know they'd be contacting me soon with a decision.

I do not remember submitting this application.

I wonder what was on it.

maverick

http://beatonna.livejournal.com/74943.html

Pimms and an early night to doze in front of Maverick and Goose. He nudges me awake during 'select homoerotic scenes' (his words, not mine).

The movie finishes and he turns the laptop off. I look up from the bed and he is wearing aviators. I laugh until my stomach aches and he kisses me to shut me up.

sharp

A favourite blogger has been describing her break up. Her experience wrenches horrible familiarity in me.

I am too scared to write about him, despite eighteen months distance.

I am exhausted today. I have been short with my flatmates all week. I cannot concentrate.

I wrote more than this, originally. I cannot post it. Perhaps this will be catharsis enough.

fool

Would be quite the joke to actually post, don't you think?

Two days until college finishes. I have pages of notes from tube journeys spent staring.

Am fine. More soon.

jibe-oh

Got a non-pfo (why not just say acceptance? who knows; I'm tired) the day after. Happiness ensued.

This weekend was the warmest so far this year. I squeeze my child-bearing hips (cheers, ma) through the window and we sit on the stone balcony. Bickering about schooling and commenting on the girls walking past the afternoon slips away and it seems seconds since I arrived.

I return to London with renewed enthusiasm and a shadowed shape of a plan.